The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
