Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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