in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
