If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
