my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
