You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
