Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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