Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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