So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
