Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
