p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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