There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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