glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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