Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
