Girls should come with a carfax report
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
