I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
