Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
