Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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