Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
