with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
accomplished twins. life is a go
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
