your thong is hanging out like whoa
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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