We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
