Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
