I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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