just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
