Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
