I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
