i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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