she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
