I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
