It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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