Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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