Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex on a dog bed..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
