Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
