i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
