I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
