You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
