So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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