It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
