She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
