Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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