I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
only if we run a train.
done.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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