And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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