I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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