She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
