Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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