he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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