we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
