Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
