My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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